I remember the day when skinny, I mean bare-bone-clothes-hanger-knobby-knees skinny, was cause for pity, if not alarm. "
God, she's underweight! Have her drink a malt a day and eat lots of ice cream."
Okay, it's true, lived most of my life in another century.
But even today, folks pity thin, bony, underfed animals, report their owners to animal protection and just hope they rot in hell.
Interestingly enough, modern ironing board bodies are often embellished with grapefruit-sized implants. (Just can't have it both ways.) Now that Beyonce and others have made the butt
fashionable, emphasis has shifted. All manner of padded undies and jeans flood the market and I suspect silicone is now being injected where fat was once lipo-suctitoned. Boobs, lips, now
hips. Wouldn't eating solve some of the dilemma?
What about hair or lack thereof? Bald has become beautiul for guys, but alas, only for brave
women and Lesbians. Bald, shaved heads, once the badge of neo Nazis and prison inmates, are in. Long haired men are mostly considered hippies; long haired women, ooh la la! But, you know, I think it's gone too far.
Many beautiful women and their less fortunate sisters, look pretty much like
those ladies who lurk on street corners and in dark doorways. Earrings long as their hair, sprayed on spandex skirts, necklines removing all mystery, stillito heels, giant wedgies that
seem too heavy to lift and make for a walk funny. (I once fell off a pair of wedgies, landed in the gutter. Not accosted
or anything, just prancing along on a beautiful spring day when I had an ankle malfunction. Got off with a very red face.)
Facial hair, the bane of women and formerly
removed daily from the faces of men (little boys couldn't wait to find a whisker), now routinely left untouched for a few days to give the rugged hobo look. Perhaps bathing will go out of style,
also. All I can think is "My God! How scratchy is that!" Hmmm.....perhaps shaving day is keyed to, shall we say, biological urges?
Hey, life sure enough needs diversity to be interesting and to keep the ain't-it-awful folks happy. But I love the irony: Fashion trends mimicking thugs, hobos, shady ladies. On the other hand, look at
those gorgeous Afro-American trendsetters, mostly not starved.
As for me, I'm not
very trendy, need no padding anywhere, wear ordinary jeans and silver clip on earrings. Once loved long ones, but I hate that stretched one-inch ear
hole that comes from being alive a long time. Wouldn't do cleavage if I had it. The plastic surgeon is not one of my doctors. I
have a lot of fun watching in the slow lane!