Beyonce's Backside

It's just not fair!  I'm talking Beyonce's backside.  She's made big butts fasionable, a fresh challenge for cosmetic surgeons around the world.  Kinda the opposite of liposuction, creating sillicone hinders that bounce, but not too much.  Seems to me some ironing board bodies are gonna look a little strange with grapefruit implants in front and watermelons in the rear.


Why am I whining?  Well, I know it's hard to believe, but I am old and therefore, have an old butt, most of which has migrated to the front of my body.  In the days when I had Beyonce hips, the fashion world frowned on them.  And that's not all.  When my chest was cute, but dainty, huge boobs were in.   Long, straight hair?  I had it when it implied poverty or worse.  [She's so poor she can't even afford a Toni.  If you know what a Toni is, you, too, are older than dirt.]


I remember the days when duck lips were less than desirable.  A set like Angelina Jolie's were to be pitied.   


Totally out of it, fashion-wise, I do have a shape, but it is round in all the wrong places.  My lips have diminished to the point where lip liner is enough.  My once fashionable, full eyebrows require much artistry.  These days, it is perfectly acceptable to wear my long, straight hair down and flowing.  It is silvery and lovely, but combined with the rest of my body parts, it comes off more Halloween the haute couture.


But, (no pun intended) looking at the good side,  I'm alive and well, if out of fashion.  And I'm thinking of the postive impact of big butts upon the economy!  Sales of padded undies will increase, no longer limited to gay men and male country singers.  The young and those seeking eternal youth will head to cosmetic surgeons by the droves.  Beyonce might even be awarded a Presidential Citation!


As for me, I'm content to saunter down the slow lane, padded by nature alone.  




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