The War on Wrinkles

Ask your doctor......the number of new prescription drugs flooding TV screens could lead to writer's cramp as you jot down another for the list.  "Be sure to tell your doctor if you have pancreatitis, tuberculosis, dry eye, or toenail fungus."  Huh!  What quack wouldn't know this?  Okay, okay.  Maybe some shady expat practicing in a Mexican alley.

 

The latest drug that I'm urged to add to the list is Botox, not for face wrinkles, not for cleavage wrinkles, but for a nervous bladder.  Seems like this could be risky business.  What if the bladder relaxes to the point of paralysis?  Will it explode or run nonstop?  Of course, old bladder would be wrinkle-free.

 

How did this obsession with wrinkles sneak up on us?  You know wrinkles are pretty special.  Huh!  We share wrinkling of our outer layer with only one other animal.  Hint:  They live in female herds ruled be a benevolent elderly queen.  They share child care and look out for each other.  (Shockingly socialistic!)  They are noted for their intelligence, long memory and long life.  What's not to admire about the elephant?

 

Wrinkles, you say, make us look old.  Hey, you know, some places in the world, old is good.  Some societies actually respect, accept, and honor wisdom and wrinkles that come with age.  Old age means elder-hood, not old fart-hood.  I don't know about you, but I've never heard anyone say, "Gee, I wish I had the brains of a 20 something." 

 

The War on Wrinkles makes about as much sense as the War on Drugs, the Iraq War,  Vietnam, etc.  As to Botoxing the bladder, we've discussed it, my bladder and I.  We've decided on Depends should the need arise (or leak).  

        

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