Dear President or Premier Putin (whatever):
I've been watching your antics this past week and I want you to know you've got a nerve traipsing into Ukraine and calling
it an act of Self-Defense. It's so tacky and phony! We in the US use the term Peace Keeping. Of course, we Peace Keep for a
good reason, or at least make one up. What would happen if we decided to annex Mexico as an act of Self-Defense? (Not a good example; we've done that already.)
Your Ground might be more appropriate strategy. As we do in Florida, you claim fear for your life and shoot just about anybody. Unarmed glaring Ukrainians? That's
some kind of scarry, all right. And what if they throw rocks threatening Mother Russia?
Don't don't try it here. In the state of Illinois alone, 46,000
permits to carry concealed weapons have been granted recently. Cowboy Mitch McConnell was filmed waving a rifle, a retirement gift, to another Senate gunslinger. The NRA donated the rifle, a token of appreciation,
for his keeping guns in the hands of any lunatic riding down the pike.
Yesiree, Americans don't throw rocks, they throw lead. Lots of lead. Sadly a lot of it
at each other.
Yours truly from the slow lane,