Breaking news! [News breaks over life these days like an endless tsunami.] Anyhow, National Geographic diggers, you know the guys stalking the earth with geiger counters listening for crazed click of treasure,
have discovered a time capsule! Yes, folks! A time capsule from 1983! What? That was only yesterday!
Listen to this:
Discovered a tape of Steve Jobs predicting the very future in which many of us swim and lots of us feel ourselves sinking. And what an oddity, a cassette tape! Really? Hmmmmm.......I
still have some. Should I go ahead and spend all my money and leave my tapes instead? My house is probably full of valuable artifacts from that era. Better quit giving my junk away.
Best discovery of all,
a can of Ballantine Beer. The diggers cracked it, declarred, "It didn't taste very good after 30 years." Well, duh! It's
not wine you know. Old Peter Ballantine started brewing in 1840. As recently as the dark ages of 1977, it was rated a good beer. That may be why it was chosen for the time capsule.
Alas, Ballantine became part of some Pabst-Miller conglomeration in 2005. It is now what we beer snobs refer to as dog piss.
Should you be of a mind, you can buy a Ballantine that looks pretty much like the artifact
pulled from the fabulous 1983 time capsule. They sell it in the slow lane.