In the Slow Lane

Mitt Rises from the Ashes!

They don't call it the slow lane for nothing.  Change is slow, but, hey, we've been buying spirits in the bottle a year now.  Wine as you dine?  Sure thing.  Nobody gawks at the beer truck.  (The thrill is gone.)  The preachers, I'm guessing, rant about a new set of evils.  LIfe in the slow lane remains pretty much the same. 


When it comes to techno-savvy, slow laners are second to none.  Cyberspace, clouds, apps, they know this stuff.  Ring, ring!  Smart phones go off at regular intervals.  (Aren't we the lucky ones overhearing what Mama is having for supper?)   Yep, and there's PBS and NPR besides 1001 channels of crappy TV, just like the rest of the world.


Wouldn't you think something would sink in?  I mean Mitch McConnell, the champion of cancer victims poisoned by working at the Gaseous Diffusion* plant, appears in an ad with a whispering man.  "Senator McConnell got me the health care I need."  What!  Who kept the damn place open?  What a hellish campaign ad!  *Processes uranium for medical and/or nefarious causes.


Speaking of campaigns, I'm here to report  Mitt Romney will run in 2016.  Remember you read it here first!  Why else would this deluded man think anyone would care one flip about The Other Side of Mitt, a TV documentary? 


What other side?  We all know Mitt's a good businessman, a good father, a good mormon.  Yes, he tithes to his church, and gives generously to charities.  (Outside his church?  I doubt it.)  But he's never yanked the silver spoon from his mouth long enough to partake in the the other side of the world.  (A missionary stint in France?  Doesn't count.  Selling off bonds from a trust to get through college?  Doesn't count either.)  Mormons tend to be insular.  (Yeah, yeah, they're not the only ones.)


Still, sitting here in the slow lane, I tell you it might be sinking in.  Lots of folks don't give two hoots for Mitch, Mitt, or Duck Dynasty.  Let's drink to that!  



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