In the Slow Lane


TV news, what a dilemma!  Often I think it hazardous to  health.  Surprised there's no movement to have it labeled as such.  You know, a warning banner to take up the remaining two inches of the screen.  But on the other hand, if laughter improves the immune system, TV is a must.  Oh, ho! you say.  But what kind of laughter?  Does skeptical snickering make for good health?  What about giggles, guffaws, belly laughs?  My rule of thumb: if it doesn't raise your blood pressure, it's healthy.


Last week, for instance, there was a Win-a-Makeover contest.  Send in a photo and tell why you want a makeover?  Duh!  Isn't the picture proof enough?  They don't tell you this, but over a certain age, happen to be fat, not of the paler persuasion?  Forget it.  Your application automatically lands in the HOPELESS file.  Hey, they need decent matierial to make a "silk purse."   No sow's ears need apply.


And what's with this naming every storm system that comes down the Canadidan pike?  What was wrong with the "Siberian Express?"  The "Canadian Clipper?"  Besides, naming each system might get dangerous.  What!  What happens when the right-to-name becomes part of the Consitution?  Do we really want Storm Barrack, Biden, Reed, Romney or Bush?   Just a snowball  from corrupting meteorology.   Yeah, I know, extreme weather is not funny, but reporters making snowballs in one inch of snow, that's funny.


The poor-little-13-year-old-dead-person's body preserved by the ventilator, is in no way funny.  It is the stuff of horror movies.  But it is laughable that we civilized folks tolerate such things in this world.


Well, there goes the old blood pressure!   Hate being an ignorant crank in the slow lane, but today I lean toward:  Hazardous to your Health.







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