In the Slow Lane

The Obama Scandal

It's no secret, I am a simple woman living in the slow lane.  Some rude persons have even dubbed me simple-minded.  Be that as it may, here's my take on the Obama Scandal.  The whole thing began years ago when his lily white mother took up with (gasp) an African man of color.  Along comes little brown Barack Obama.  Now this kid, intelligent, attractive, pale, but not pale enough, had the makings of an uppity you-know-what.  But he didn't  know that until later on when Mitch McConnell pointed it out to him.  By then it was too late. 


You can't blame Mr. O. for thinking he's as good as the next man.  He grew up in Hawaii, mostly a brown state.  Racism in Hawaii is pretty rare, but if you're haole (white person) you might feel a bit of it.  To my way of thinking, this is especially good for white folks. 


Some Hawaiians scoff at mainland haoles, especially the red ones.  Call 'em "shark bait."  Sharks are that fond of white skin gleaming in ocean waters!  You're pretty much accepted once you're tan and wearing flip flops.   Doesn't hurt either if you've mastered two-finger poi.  (No, this has nothing to do with Anthony Weiner.)  Poi, starchy, gray, bland goo tastes really good if glommed down with a bite of luau pig. 


Well, Barry, the kid grew up and didn't forget his Hawaiian raising.  He knows you can't take a sun-burned haole seriously, especially if it's his neck.  He knows that poi is kinda like poise; you can take a bite of any pig if you've got it.  Hawaii na ke oi!   Hawaii is the best.  It's brown and it's beautiful. 



The Obama scadal is that white folks are just scared witless of browning America.  Obama, an African American man, is the wave of the future.  All the gerrymandering, philibustering, naysaying and disrespect ain't gonna stop it.  Wake up and smell, the coffee, folks.  It's brown. 

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