In the Slow Lane

Pied Pipers of Washington

It's Ratcatcher's Day!   Hmmmmmm.......I don't know any practicing ratcatchers other than small, highstrung yapsters and our stealthy feline friends.  Outside the animal kingdom, maybe the Orkin man qualifies?


Let's consider the prototype ratcatcher, the legendary Pied Piper of Hamelin.  After piping rats into the sea, the townfolks, thrifty Germans, decided they were headed that way anyhow, so why pay him for an obvious coincidence.  Everybody knows rats are monotones by nature.  They squeak at a constant pitch.  Whoever heard a singing rat?  You never saw one play the violin or dance did you?  They have no rhythm.  So why on earth would rats follow the Pied Piper?


Personally, I think he wasn't called the Pied Piper for nothing.  I'm guessing his clothes were pied beyond belief.  Nothing but dirty-beyond-belief rags stitched together like a crazy quilt, medieval camo, you might say.  This smelly-beyond-belief disguise may have tricked the rat's olfactories into thinking the piper, himself, a grand picnic.  All he had to do was stay ahead of them, then stick his toe into the sea. 


Alas, townfolks didn't pay the piper and he lured the kids away with music, candy, or whatever.  True, you must pay the piper.   Don't like his methods, don't elect him again.  He may be a giant rat in disguise.  



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